As much as I don't like to fly, I was in the air again

So where I have I been? Not drunk on the streets of Chicago for 14 days on end*, but rather, in New York, with PO! I had a wonderful trip. I accomplished almost every gerund I set out to do:

- Winnie's karaoke-ing

- Shake Shacking

- Brooklyn Bridge walking-across and sitting under

- Morgan Library-going

- old neighborhood visiting

- Low Steps sitting (this was actually not by design, but it was super fun nonetheless)

- honeymooning (not really but some of you know what I mean)

- most importantly, seeing lots of people I love and miss

If you are among the people I love and miss and did not manage to see, I am probably even sadder than you are about this. Three days, no matter how jam-packed, are not enough to do it all in.

Turns out I really fucking love New York. I don't know why I forgot this, but I remember it now. This is an utter cliche, but I don't think there is anywhere else, at least in the U.S., that can compare (sorry Chicago, I like you and all, but still). I hope I hope I can settle back there, or at least nearby.

Now I am back in Champ-Urb. I complained a lot about having to come back to it, so then it rained really hard on me in retaliation. I then grudgingly celebrated my return by eating a Potbelly sandwich tonight (one of my favorite things about living here. Do they have Potbelly in New York yet?) This is such a busy summer that I can barely believe it is well into July. Lots of work, some class, and running about keeps me busy from dawn til dusk (and then from dusk til dawn I have to fight vampires). I'm off to the glorious Twin Cities this coming weekend, which I am very excited about. I have it on good authority I am going to meet some grandparents. And go on a boat! I love boats. 

I would like to go on a picnic before the summer is over. And see an outdoor movie, which I think they have in Chicago. My dude is moving up there for the last half of July and all of August--incunabula don't just catalog themselves!--so I will be making some visits and trying to bond more securely with the Chi so that I don't always unfavorably compare it to New York. To be fair, I think Chicagoans also unfavorably compare New York to their town. Really, they don't have too much in common, except for being large and both awfully cold and hot at different times. They are just both cities. Stop the comparing insanity!

*From this Aislers Set song called "Chicago New York"  that always gets in my head whenever I fly CHI-NYC. 

Life in a Sauna

Summer is off to a steamy start in Champ-Urb. The humidity has been approximately 1000% every day for the past few weeks, and both my hair and my general mood have been adversely affected. Still, I soldier on, spending 20 hours a week in a facility called (swear to god) the Horticultural Field Lab, where I am processing the papers of a supercomputing institute headed by an astrophysicist. Super! (The astrophysicist liked to doodle otters). It gets a bit lonely, moving thousands of folders from metal cabinets into archival boxes for hours at a stretch, so I have been listening to a trashy British chick lit audiobook while I work. This leads to weird associations, like trying to remember where Maida Vale is while simultaneously attempting to decipher scribbled calculations about star M31. Thank goodness I am an expert multi-tasker. 

PO is giving Iowa a try for the weekend, so I am all alone! I had class today (yes, on a Saturday), a party last night, and a big week ahead, so I am lying low and trying not to sweat all over the place. I miss New York crazy amounts. Summer in the city was always my favorite, with the free shows and the outdoor movies and the migration of the rich people. And the SHAKE SHACK. Recently I have been thinking about moving back, mostly after I dreamt that my sister had a baby (which had an insanely large head) and I never got to see the kid because I lived so far away.  So I am visiting (with PO in tow) over the fourth of July, and seeing what chords the trip strikes in my heart.  Maybe Lizzie's in Paign will have to be renamed Lizzie Crawls Back to the City that Was So Often Brutal to Her? That's not as catchy.

I got lucky in Kentucky because I made it out alive

Hey, dudes. I really went camping. It was good times, except for the Confederate flags that dotted the more bustling areas of Slade, Kentucky (pop. 38). Here's a tip, Sladians: the South will not rise again, and your stupid flags are racist. My favorite display was at this little diner-y lunch spot we went to that had a Confederate flag hanging right above a portrait of Lincoln. WTF?

That same restaurant also had this amazing little poster/chart from the 1950s that helpfully informed you how your kid will turn out if you treat them in certain ways. For instance, if you treat your child with hostility, he will be violent! If you treat him with ridicule, he will be shy! Thanks for saving us lots of money on therapy, random poster.

Oh, and we fought a snake. Film at 11.

Hello, Wisconsin!

Spring! The birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming, I am procrastinating, and Midwesterners are getting married. This weekend I journeyed in a rented Prius to my mom's old stomping grounds  to celebrate the wedded bliss of two very nice people who I had never met before. Beautiful wedding, though! You haven't heard the Song of Songs 'til you've heard it read with a Minnesota accent. Due to my heathen-y, unbaptized state, I had to awkwardly stay seated during the Communion part of the ceremony, but better that than be smited by a vengeful God, I say. And I got to cross another state off my list. Since moving to the Midwest I have now visited for the first time Indiana, Missouri, and Wisconsin, and I am soon to see the Bluegrass State. That's right, I am going CAMPING this weekend in Kentucky. Anyone who knows me well, or indeed has talked to me for about five minutes, knows that camping is not my go-to form of recreation. In fact, as a child, my family would force me to go hiking, and my mother bribed me with M&Ms so that I would keep on putting one tiny, weary foot in front of the other. However! I am going with very fun people, and I am optimistic that this will be a good time. We can always drink, right?

I am pretty much the last person in GSLIS to be still working on a paper. Yes, blogging is my way of doing work. Here is my 100% accurate log of paper-writing:

7:45 AM  Up and at them! Let's work on that paper, eh? Then I can have fun tonight.

8:00 Can't do anything without coffee. I'll make instant to save time.

8:30 AM Oh, man, I forgot about my laundry. Folding time! Folding timmme, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

9:00 AM Hmm, maybe I will work better at the public library. I'll just walk on over.

9:30 AM Ooh, look, the library has the new US Weekly! That Jon & Kate scandal--I just can't resist.

10:00 AM Ok, paper. Hey, my paper is about Facebook, so I should probably do some research by stalking people I went to high school with.

10:30 AM Hey, my paper is about Twitter, so I should probably do some research by stalking current grad school friends.

11:00 AM Why do so many celebrities Twitter? I will read some celebrity gossip and get to the bottom of this.

11:30 AM I haven't blogged in a while! Got to say what's up to the adoring public.

And so on. Amazingly, I have 8 of 10 pages done. That is all that stands between me and being 60% done with library school!! 

I have an exam in 12 hours...

...so obviously it's time to blog!

I was just eating dinner and thinking about all the foods I have been introduced to since moving to the Midwest. Food snobs, vegans, and purists might want to look away. Here we go:

1. MIRACLE WHIP: I never had this as a kid; we always went the Hellman's route (Best Foods for you Westerners, I think). Now my mom has transitioned to the "lite" Hellman's which tastes suspiciously like Elmer's glue. Then Miracle Whip walks into my life. It's got the tangy zip, people, and it's not that bad for you, if you ignore all the things you cannot pronounce and the extra sugar. Why is it not mayonnaise proper? God only knows. Let's not ask questions, but rather be thankful that it was created in "a patented emulsifying machine". 

2. TATER TOTS: These form the crowning glory of Pat's family's hotdish recipe. They are so goddamned delicious, like little pieces of deep-fried heaven. I would have these every day if I could get away with it; I can't.

3. FRENCH DRESSING: I came from a homemade balsamic kind of family. Bottled dressings were off-limits unless they were made from soy and tasted like ass. Actually, I got French and Thousand Island mixed up until pretty recently. But French is delish! It's creamy but not super heavy like your Ranch or your Caesar. The color I do find somewhat off-putting (so orange!), but I'll get over it.

*Wikipedia just told me that French dressing is supposed to be vinaigrette in a "homogenized, pureed, uniform viscous" form. That is just wrong.

4. CREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP: Not to eat on its own, of course, but to serve as the Lutheran binder that brings our hotdishes together. Thank you, Lord, for C of M and its mysterious deliciousness.

5. BUFFETS: I had never been to a buffet dining establishment until quite recently, unless you count a brunch buffet at a hotel and the like (I don't). At the Hometown Buffet, you pay up front and then go to town. I will be honest: I was underwhelmed with much of the savory options (the clientele is largely 65+, and the mushiness that characterizes much of the fare is thus to be expected), but the dessert buffet was pretty kickass. I would do this again. There has been talk of a Chinese buffet trip, but I am skeptical.

6. GREEN RIVER: Some sort of green "pop", as the Midwesterners would have it. This sounds terrifying but I will do it for science, as soon as I can find some.

7. SNICKERS IN A SALAD/MOUNTAIN DEW SALAD DRESSING: Crimes against a noble food. I was served Snickers bars in a salad by an Iowan, many years ago. The Mountain Dew salad dressing phenomenon has been confirmed by others, but not witnessed by me personally. I can't really imagine what this might taste like.

I really want to make the "vegetarian chili" featured in the Rosemount Catholic Church Cookbook that calls for, as its very first ingredient, 1 lb ground beef.

Con la Mega no se juega.

I blog to you right now from a bus. Yes, it's been done before, and far better,  but never so Megafully. Thats right, I'm on the Megabus, which means I just spent 45 minutes waiting on a rainy, freezing Chicago sidewalk before cramming on board my sad, damp little self and my too big suitcase--but only after a crazy dude extorted a dollar from me for "helping". Travel--so diverting! 

I just returned from the imperial capitol, as father-of-Lizzie's-in-Paign calls it (see how I protect his anonymity?). That's right. W-A-S-H-I-N-G-T-O-N baby, D-C. Alternative Spring Break was light on the body shots and heavy on the informational interviews, so just how I like it. I seriously had a fantastic time. Highlights were seeing a Frenchy movie about public schools (El-Nugs and I later debriefed on the accuracy/nostalgia angle; both of us had repressed the memory that gym was called "E.P.S."), dining at a chic restaurant with my lovely Chambana roommate and her fun pals, shopping like we ladies love to do, and enjoying public transportation that did not involve waiting on a dark sidewalk (I am referring to Champaign, although this also describes my MegaBus experience. I need to either get a chauffeur or learn to drive.  Anyone need a good driver in need of a passenger?)

Back to the frozen prairie, I guess. In an hour and a half I will turn 25 on a bus. That is either kind of funny or deeply sad. Let's go with the funny angle, shall we? I am waiting for this quarterlife crisis business to set in, but I feel ok about my whereabouts (except for the immediate, bus whereabouts). I like my career direction, I like my dude, I like my friends a lot (though a good portion of them are on the Eastern Seaboard), I have all my teeth. What's not to like? This makes me worry that I will have a TERRIBLE midlife crisis, though. I am totally going to have dye my hair with Grecian Formula and buy a Lamborghini (which I maybe still won't be able to drive?)

Next week in L-I-P: California: knows how to party. 

This tornado loves you.

As I trudged along Green Street last night, ubiquitous grey Jansport strapped to my back, a wee bunny hopped across my path, and I was reminded of my very first bunny sighting in Chambana, back in August, when I was walking to Big Lots. (Remember that, blogosphere?) I think this means that spring might finally be coming to East Central Illinois, but I don't want to get my hopes up quite yet. However, the weather has been improving somewhat--it was nearly 70 degrees yesterday! Downright tropical. With the change in the weather, of course, comes increased tornado danger here in the Midwest. Luckily, last week was Severe Weather Week on WILL-AM, so I am totally prepared if one strikes. 

It's been a long winter. Not so long that we had to start milling wheat in the coffee grinder, but still--it feels like it's been cold forever. I think that's why I haven't posted since Christmas; I haven't been unhappy at all, but I just haven't had the energy. I was too concerned with conserving body heat to try to be witty, and besides, my life is pretty dull. I spent my longest unbroken stretch ever in Chamb-Urb--from the end of January to last weekend, when I went to Chicago--and that was too long. I got a little crazy. I like it here just fine, but I do better when I have little breaks to look forward too. Also, I have had the Midwestern death flu for the past, oh, seventeen years, which has put a bit of a damper on the old spirits.

God, I'm a whiner. I think I just need some hydropathic medicine:

Phew! Now I feel better. Thank god for water, which cures and prevents all diseases.

Ok, I was blogging merrily, and then Pat started watching some insane, accusatory video about how your climbing backpack isn't good enough. It kind of broke my concentration. The boy has mountains on the brain. Luckily, he is going backcountry avalanche ski-climbing or something like that over spring break, so that might alleviate some of his outdoor-lust. Meanwhile, I will be flitting around D.C., wearing uncomfortable corporate ladywear while networking with museum professionals in an attempt to someday secure employment. WOO SPRING BREAK D.C.!!!

Maybe I should start solving mysteries in my (copious) spare time, ala Veronica Mars. (Remember when I told everyone I wanted to be a private eye after graduation?) I've been watching quite a bit of V-Mars, and I've come to a couple conclusions:

1. Weird shit goes down in Southern California.

2. Veronica Mars is only good at solving mysteries because she's hot.

I don't claim to hold a candle to Kristen Bell, but maybe I can start exposing the seamy underbelly of Champaign-Urbana. I mean, sure, it SEEMS like a boring old college town, but there are probably tons of mysteries I can uncover! Like, what is that weird plastic-y smell that's everywhere? Why does the Orchard Downs bus always say it's going to campus, but then it really goes to this weird subdivision called Yankee Ridge, causing me to be perpetually late? Who thought that those hideous octagonal buildings that besmirch the C-U skyline were a good idea?

I'm on the case. Right after I watch some more Veronica Mars.