Let's get domestic

Merry Christmas, L-I-P readership!

Things my dad said today

"She's clearly eating her feelings. I sympathize. And what's the deal with Stedman, anyway?"
-on Oprah's regaining the weight

"What did she get me? What did she get me? What did she get me? I hope it's good... It better be good."
-to me, while I was discussing Christmas goods with my sister on the phone

"High five! No, let's do a terrorist fist jab."
-to my mother, when discussing the fee she will earn for an upcoming article

No more school, too much free time.

In high school, I was really into the "best of" lists that were coming out around the turn of the millennium. I remember sitting in Wigg with Jeffrey Jackson checking out the Modern Library's list, before they got a little carried away and started making, like, the 100 best self-help books ever and stuff. Stealing a trick from J-bird, I am going to discuss what I have read of the Strand 80 (what order is this in???):

1. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

YES. I cried.

2.Pride & Prejudice - Jane Austen

Lit Hum, what up? Thanks for helping me to see those hidden capitalist themes.

3. The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald

I love the part with the shirts, and saying "the middle west", as some of you have no doubt noticed.

4. The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger

Phonies! Great one.

5. Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand

Aw, hell no.

6. Fountainhead - Ayn Rand

Aw, hell no, take

7. The Lord of the Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien

Nope. No interest.

8. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Ok, I have read this, but I did not love it like everyone else. I think magical realism disturbs me.

9. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

Yes, I am a good little budding librarian.

10. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Was this the first one? Baby Harry!

11. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

Love the book, love the movie, love the trip of the tongue part

12. 1984 - George Orwell

This one is pretty good, despite my hatred of scifi.

13. On the Road - Jack Kerouac

Ack, do I have to? Ok, maybe.

14. Gone with the Wind - Margaret Mitchell

This shit is racist. But really entertaining, admittedly.

15. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

One of my top five faves of all time.

16. The Brothers Karamazov - Fyodor Dostoevsky

Meh. I don't like Dostoevsky that much... too hysterical. Laura Bush's fave!

17. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky

See above, although this one is marginally more enjoyable.

18. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn - Betty Smith

Nope. Is this for kids?

19. Slaughterhouse-Five - Kurt Vonnegut

Never read Vonnegut. Maybe I will give this one a whirl.

20. Ulysses - James Joyce

Yes, indeed. Thanks, Mr. Fricke!

21. Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

ACK, no way.

22. Catch-22 - Joseph Heller

Hm, no.

23. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

I think so? Maybe I just saw the movie.

24. East of Eden - John Steinbeck

Nope, although I have an ex-boyfriend who once narrated me the whole plot. Does that count?

25. The Sun Also Rises - Ernest Hemingway

Alcoholism never seemed so sexy.

26. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

SO GOOD. And does not deserve its weird pop culture status as hardest book ever. It's pretty enjoyable!

27. The Hobbit: Or There and Back Again - J.R.R. Tolkien

No interest.

28. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J.K. Rowling

Mmmm-hmm.

29. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay - Michael Chabon

I have tried to read this book like a million times (or twice), and just can't get through it, even though I love Mysteries of Pittsburgh.

30. A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving

Yes. A nice read.

31. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

No! I was just talking about this one. I would read this.

32. Alice's Adventure in Wonderful and Through the Looking Glass - Lewis Carroll

Yes indeed!

33. The Stranger - Albert Camus

Yep, in English and en francais.

34. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

Yes. Freaked me out good.

35. Little Women - Louisa May Alcott

AHHHHHHH. I just reread part of this this morning!! So great.

36. Moby Dick - Herman Melville

Nope. I should, though.

37. The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho

Are you fucking kidding me?

38. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

No...I think the musical aspect turned me off.

39. A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

Nope, I've only read a little Dickens.

40. Anthem - Ayn RandAw, hell no, take three.

41. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami

Started, but never finished.

42. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain

Yay! A great one. I cried.

43. In Cold Blood - Truman Capote

Mmm no interest.

44. Cat's Cradle - Kurt Vonnegut

I should read Vonnegut, I guess...

45. Love in the Time of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

See above magical realism discussion. This one, I liked better.

46. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

High school yearbook quote, what up?

47. The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

Meh. Really?

48. Invisible Man - Ralph Ellison

A great one.

49. The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera

I should read this... I heard it's dirty.

50. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

I love this book. Is that cliched? I don't care.

51. The World According to Garp - John Irving

Two Irving? Really? I think I liked this one better.

52. Middlemarch - George Eliot

SO MUCH SHAME. I never finished it.

53 .To the Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf

Once again, thanks Lit Hum! This book also made me cry.

54. The Poisonwood Bible - Barbara Kingsolver

One of my old faves from high school... I should reread and see if it holds up.

55. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - J.K. Rowling

OK.

56. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - J.K. Rowling

Sure.

57. The Old Man and the Sea - Ernest Hemingway

BO-RING.

58. Ender's Game - Orson Scott Card

Um, is this sci-fi? Do I have to?

59. Bleak House - Charles Dickens

I could never get past the title... sounds boring. And bleak.

60. Beloved - Toni Morrison

BE-LO-VED. I read this thrice for school.

61. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

Yes, a Dickens I have actually read!!

62. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius - Dave Eggers

I liked this a lot in high school--I'm not sure how I would feel about it now. Twee?

63 .Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk

Um, no thanks.

64. The Sound and the Fury - William Faulkner

Aw, what a great one. Caddy smells like... grass? Green?

65. Mrs. Dalloway - Virginia Woolf

said she would buy the flowers herself. My cat is named after Clarissa Dalloway.

66. The Giver - Lois Lowry

This book disturbed me greatly in the fifth grade.

67. The Master and Margarita - Mikhail Bulgakov

Ooh, I should read this.

68. Blindness - Jose Saramago

I vetoed this for book club. I don't like parables.

69. Life of Pi - Yann Martel

This was a sweet book, but one of the best 80 of all time? Really?

70. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

Did I finish this? I should.

71. Where the Wild Things Are - Maurice Sendak

Yay! Let the wild rumpus start.

72. The Chronicles of Narnia - C.S. Lewis

I could never get past the Christian allegory thing.

73. The Odyssey - Homer

Yes indeed. Where is the Iliad?

74. The DaVinci Code - Dan Brown

This was seriously one of the worst-written books ever, but I def turned those pages.

75. Franny and Zooey - J.D. Salinger

Yay! Where is Nine Stories?

76. Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides

I just got this from the library!

77. A Wrinkle in Time - Madeleine L'Engle

These books also freaked me out. I was an impressionable child, all right?

78, Everything is Illuminated - Jonathan Safran Foer

Cried.

79. The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde

No! Should I?

80.The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood

This used to be my favorite book.

Gimme a toot-toot, now gimme a beep-beep

I am done with my first semester of library school! To quote my friend Sarah, I am now 25% of a librarian. Actually, I just crunched the numbers, and I am actually 30% of a librarian, credit-wise. Exciting! Celebrate good times, come on! It's a celebration. I still have to go to work til next Thursday, so no cold lampin' yet. But it feels good to be finished with classes. Today I am lounging around, then going to the library (some things never change, oookaaay?), getting my hair cut, and whipping something up for the GSLIS holiday party tonight. Great day, right?

Oh man, I am listening to WILL-AM, the local NPR station, which is seriously weather obsessed (they actually have a feature where people CALL IN and ask meteorologist Ed Keeser, whose name I know better than my own, so frequently has it been mentioned on Morning Edition, what the weather will be like in Decatur or Mt. Zion or Memphis or wherever their weekend travels take them, as if they had no access to a TV or the internet or any other means of weather prediction other than CALLING SOMEONE ON THE RADIO; Pat thinks it's just an excuse for people to brag about their weekend plans) and the host dude just said to Ed "if you don't like the weather, just wait a minute!" I thought people didn't actually say that. Turns out it is alive and kicking here in downstate Illinois.

Ok, time to shower and visit Champaign Public!

Law and Order SVU is funner than actually being a lawyer

Ok, it has been a month since I last posted. That is fairly unacceptable. But I've been working SO HARD in library school that I just cannot blog. Ha, I am lying. Library school is pretty easy, guys. I highly recommend it as an alternative to law school if you are a humanities major with no job prospects:

• It is usually way cheaper than law school.
• Classmates are cool and helpful, not shitty and undermining.
• It's really pretty easy to get in. Even Illinois, which is apparently the cream of the crop (woooo creamy) accepts a third of its applicants. Last year, I think Yale Law took two people. That's just what I heard.
  
• No LSATs. Only GREs. And really, not even the GREs.
  
• You don't want to kill yourself from depression when you graduate and actually have to get a job in your field of study (I'm looking at you, sad lawyers!)
  
• The bulk of your classwork is watching YouTube videos.

I kid! I have actually learned some things (for real). I guess the main problem with librarianship vs. lawyering is that you don't make any money as a librarian. I will rebut with this point: we will not have money, as a currency, in five years. We will resort to an all-barter economy. So work on amassing some cows, and go to library school! I'll see you in Champ-Urb.

Final thought--it is so so cold out. I want to die. When people here find out my parents are from Maine, they are always like "Ohh, Maine! Must be pretty cold!" It was 37 degrees in Maine today. It was SEVEN degrees here this morning. I don't even want to talk about the real-feel temp. I don't know how I am going to get through winter, people... I am already wearing a coat that is the equivalent of a down pillow, and I am freezing my tail off. (That's a literary device--I don't really have a tail.)